Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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