My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
