i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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