question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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