i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
