I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
