Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize