Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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