if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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