I wish I could punch you in the face.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
