you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he puts the penis in happiness.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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