So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
