he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize