sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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