We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize