A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
