Already got asked if we're dating
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
