oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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