Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
