some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
