HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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