We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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