So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
