Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
