Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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