Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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