I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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