shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
