Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
