cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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