The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
