party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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