I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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