erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
