She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
