yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
