Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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