i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
