Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize