I wish I could punch you in the face.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
