ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
