just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
