I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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