so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
