well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
