Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
