There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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