i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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