shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
