he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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