he referred to my room as the tit cave...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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