You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
