We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
