Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize