Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
