Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
