K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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