I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
