i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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